Friday, January 26, 2007

The Secret Life of Uncle Ray

When I was about thirteen or so I was staying with my friends, two brothers who were a year in age on each side of me. They had a family friend who came to visit them often, an older man-about 70 then- who lived on a farm a couple of miles away from them. He was someone who always looked as if he was almost asleep, and talked in a mumbling sort of way. The boys often went to help him out with the chores, and that was the case on this day, with me tagging along. There wasn't much to do in the way of chores that day, and they soon decided to show me "Uncle Ray's" attic, with Ray leading the way. We climbed the stairs to the cluttered, dark room full of stacks of magazines and newspapers. On further investigation I saw that most of the magazines were Playboy, Penthouse and the like. There were drawings that he had done - he seemed to be quite an artist- of couples engaged in sexual acts, nude women, and drawings that looked normal until you unfolded them and it turned into an orgy. He pulled out a box full of films and played one of them - this was way before vcr's so it was a silent film. I felt very uneasy the whole time. Although everything was like a treasure trove to a pubescent boy it felt very wierd with an old man openly showing us all that stuff. It got a lot wierder next when he pulled out an attachment for his sweeper and asked me if I wanted to put that thing on my schlong. I declined and shrank to the farthest corner of the room while one of my friends gave it a try. Thankfully we left shortly thereafter with him taking us all back to my friends' house where their mom fixed dinner for Uncle Ray and us, none of the grownups suspecting that their sleepy-eyed friend had opened our eyes, or at least my eyes, to the fact that old people could hide such secrets behind their jovial, trusting faces.


Blogger Michelle's Spell said...

Hey Tim,

Yikes -- I do believe we all have an Uncle Ray! There's a great Chris Rock line on uncles about how you know which ones aren't all there! Loved this post.

11:40 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

Uncle Ray should have been horsewhipped if you ask me.

9:00 PM  

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