The Face in the Mirror

They say that you use more muscles to frown than to smile, at least according to all the thousands of "feel good" emails I've gotten over the years. Not Me. I have frown lines permanently etched into my face, giving me that grumpy old man look, so it takes hardly any effort at all on my part. I didn't always look like this, in fact at my last job, 12 years ago, one of the girls there always called me smiley. Now I look in the mirror and that guy is nowhere to be seen. I could blame my job, but that's only part of the cause of my transformation from an always pleasant person to the cynical one I've become lately. The truth is that I'm angry at myself most of the time for not changing the way I am or the situation I'm in. I think I'm on the verge of a much needed life change in a more positive direction. Not exactly sure how or where to start, but I don't want to live like this forever, with the stress of finances and a bad job turning me into someone I don't like to be around. The frown lines may never go away, but maybe someday I'll be able to look in the mirror and those lines will remind me of who I used to be - someone I never want to see again.