Wedding Day

After much hurried planning and last minute changes due to a lot of procrastination (a family trait) my son Nathan and his fiance Stacy were married Saturday. It means another change in all our daily lives, one of those changes that you know is coming and have mixed feelings about. My boy is becoming more responsible, which is good, but he will need us less now, which is sad to think of because it seems the last few years have zipped by and I never got a chance to do a lot of things I wanted to do with him. But I'm happy for him. He's seemed to have matured a lot in the last couple of years and I think he'll make a great husband and father.

The wedding was someplace I haven't been in thirty years even though it isn't that far away, so I was anxious about going there and wondering if I'd have a panic attack and run out of the church. Surprisingly, I pushed myself in the two weeks before the wedding until I finally made it there, then kept driving back several times to get used to it, so that on the wedding day I made it through without panicking once. A minor victory of sorts, and hopefully the start of me retaking control of my life - or rather more accurately, letting go of trying to control my own life and letting things fall as they may.

My wife cried a little at the ceremony and I almost did then too, but my emotional moment came at the reception when Nathan, my wife and I were alone on the dance floor - the first time all day we'd been alone with him. My wife gave him a hug, then I embraced him and realized it had been years since I'd done so. We held each other tightly for a long time and the tears flowed and the lump in my throat was so big I couldn't talk to tell him that I loved him or that I was so proud of him... but I think he knew.

It was also a great weekend because I got to see my grandson a lot in that time. I played with him during most of the decorating time at the reception hall the day before the wedding and a lot during the reception. It's wonderful because he now knows who my wife and I are, since they've also been bringing him to the house more. I'm "Papa" to him...and I'm perfectly fine with that.

Will post some pictures from the wedding soon but don't worry, I won't put too many of me on here... wouldn't want to scare everyone away.