Maid Needed

This house is in it's usual messy condition. How did it get so hard to stay on top of the housework? Mainly by means of one eleven year old boy who can single-handedly wreck this place in the blink of an eye. Throw in a couple of brothers who aren't much neater and a mom and dad who don't get many days off to clean and that adds up to the cluttered pigsty I call home. Right now it's unfair to throw any blame on his oldest brother, as he's in Buffalo making tons of money cleaning up after the snow storm up there. Even so, there is a desperate need for a maid who can decipher between junk mail and important mail, is willing to wade through mountains of dirty socks and underwear, and knows how to get spots out of carpets.... and comes cheap. We've thought seriously about it, mainly to shame the boys into keeping things cleaned up, but I'm sure they'd think it was cool that we had a maid and wouldn't change a thing in the way of helping out.
My wife and I both spent the last couple of days getting dishes and laundry done, floors clean and trash picked up. As I sit here I look into the kitchen and see that the countertop has dirty dishes sitting on it, peanut butter, bread and crackers are sitting on the table and here in the dining room there's a towel on the floor and a pair of underwear(clean? dirty? who knows) on the dining table...beside the cat. I'm sure everyone reading this is thinking "Boy I'd sure love to visit Tim right now". Come on over. I'll just have the maid tidy up a bit.