Sunday, October 08, 2006

Unable to Communicate

One of my friends from work just found out that her son has cancer. Her son is eighteen and I think they were all caught off guard by the news. Hopefully all will go well and the doctors will get him back to his old self in no time. My friend, understandably, was shocked and upset when she heard. I can only imagine how she must feel. For anyone to have to deal with something this major is very trying indeed, even more disheartening, I'm sure, because she and her son had just started to patch up their relationship which had been damaged because of her divorce and custody battles with her idiotic ex. I feel so helpless because I want to do something, even if it's just to be there to listen to her. I used to be. We were very close that way once, not that long ago, but something happened and things changed. Now we've become more like work acquaintances and most of our talk centers on the daily grind of the workplace instead of life outside the job. So I'm finding it difficult to know what to do or say. I only hope I can let her know-without putting my foot in my mouth- that I'm wishing her and her son well and I'm there if she needs anything.

I seem to have a tendency not to be able to handle those kinds of situations well. I've found that in an emergency that I can be solid as a rock, and if someone needs someone to listen to them I'm a very good listener, but when it comes to comforting someone I'm just not good at it at all. I really do care and want to help, it's just that I'm awkward in that way and I probably come off as cold and insensitive, although that's furthest from the truth.


Blogger Michelle's Spell said...

I loved this post -- it expresses perfectly the sadness and powerlessness I often feel in such situations. But please rememeber -- listening to someone is a HUGE help. That's a huge thing and difficult task and people know your heart, they really do.

11:05 PM  
Blogger Tim said...

Thanks Michelle. It really is hard for me to know when to say something or when to be quiet. I usually stay quiet then wish later that I'd said something.

5:12 PM  

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