Men Shoppers

I guess I'm a pretty typical male shopper when it comes to buying clothes, food and everyday items. I like to go in, get what I want and get out. My wife is the very opposite, looking at everything - most several times over- and making an excursion out of every shopping trip. I only shop for clothes when the need is at its most extreme, like when my once-black pants have paled to a non- color and people remark about the color of my boxers which they can see through the worn or torn spots. Last week it was time to restock my clothing supply, which saw me picking out a shirt and three pairs of pants. Being the browser that I am (and hearing the word "browser" always brings to mind Rodney Dangerfield and his hilarious line in Easy Money "Maybe I'm only half browser") I went to the store and was in and out in ten minutes, not bothering to try anything on, of course. After all, I wasn't picking out a new drill, right? Seeing that I've been wearing the same couple of short sleeve shirts to church for about a year and a half I picked out a nice one from a stack of packaged shirts on my race through the store, content that I had been a wise, frugal shopper. Right before time for church I opened the shirt package to throw it in the dryer to get the wrinkles out and discovered my new purchase had grown long sleeves, perfect for a 90 degree day. Guess I should have read the package. When Monday morning rolled around I jumped into my new pants, running late as usual. I was about halfway to the car before I realized that I should have tried them on first. Oh well, too late. I spent the rest of the day feeling like I was in clown pants, as I seemed to have lost weight and shrunk a couple of inches. Lost weight... yeah, lets go with that. Anyway, I still have two pairs that I'm hoping will fit.... maybe I should try them on before going out in public....... I really hate buying clothes.