Monday, July 10, 2006

The Name of the Beast

Depression, Despair, Fear, Anxiety. Things we all go through at one time or another and for the most part we have an inner knowledge that we will come through these things and emerge as the person we were before. Once in awhile, however, the roots of these evils will take hold in our psyche and grow, feeding off other negative feelings that, on their own, might have passed quietly in our normal routine. For those unlucky souls who are possessed by this type of emotional darkness there seems to be no way back to normalcy. Days come and go, some a little better than others, but always there is a foreboding that just ahead a catastrophic relapse is waiting, like thunderheads on the horizon during a calm summer afternoon. After existing for a long period of time in this less-than-human state a person may be inclined to take drastic measures to rid himself of his Beast.

Therapeutic measures are often the answer. Persons trained to recognize the Beast, call out his name, and help do battle have helped to win many their freedom. Others who are strong enough make the decision to face their adversary one-on-one, risking a slide further into the abyss which is already pulling them in. A lot of people simply decide to let this existence be their own personal standard of life. And then there are those who see no light at the end of the tunnel and decide that a life in that state is no life at all, so they take the road to whatever dimension waits for us all - just a little sooner than the rest of us.

I'm starting to wonder if my Beast, which long ago took control and molded my life, is unshakeable at all, or if I should try another avenue to finally rid myself of him. I'm very close to making a decision, but I'm weighing the risks of each one that I'm considering. There is no easy way out. Had I known how strongly the Beast desired me I would have fought long ago and not waited for him to pass through. Hindsight, as they say, is 20-20.


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