Day One

Monday was my first day of school in over thirty years, and I was probably more nervous than I was back then. This time around I wouldn't be going with people I knew, or even people my own age. I'd be going with their kids. I was very tempted to forget about this whole idea of getting an education and go back to the life I've known for the last thirty years. But I pushed myself, and in my mind I kept saying "I can just leave if I really don't think I'll make it". I didn't have that choice when I was in high school, and that's why I never did as well as I should have, because I felt that control of my life was in someone else's hands. Going back now is something I want to do, so it's different. Anyway, the first day went very well, nerves calmed down once I got into the classroom, and it turned out great. I can see there's going to be a lot of homework, more so than I anticipated, and I'll have to find a way to become more organized if I want to keep up with everything. Organization has never been one of my strong points, but that is going to have to change if I want to get my money's worth from this venture.
New classes today, hoping they go as well as yesterday.

One True Religion?

As a Catholic, and the son of a strict Catholic father, my upbringing is rooted in that faith, but I like to think that I keep an open mind about different religious beliefs.Certainly the whole world doesn't worship the way I do, and even within individuals of the same faith the methods and beliefs differ. And I wonder if that's not such a bad thing, to keep an open mind and not be so rigid. After all, the rest of the world is constantly changing so why not religion? Without change in the world people might still own slaves in this country, or I could be going to the store to buy the latest eight track. Humanity evolves. The Catholics, perhaps, are the slowest to reflect changes in society in the mass. Except for a few minor things, mass is still celebrated much the same way it was when I was young.
Although I can respect other views, and admire some of the religions whose members seem so focused on their faith, I don't approve of just anyone starting their own religion because they disagree with their current one. I used to think that way, until our last priest put it this way; If people start telling themselves they don't have to follow a certain religious creed then they are constantly changing their own rules at their convenience, and soon they start condoning things that go against human decency and human laws and pass it off as part of their belief. That's been the downfall of a lot of cults in decades past.
So I don't really have a point to make here, other than acknowledging that people other than diehard Catholics are probably going to make it to heaven. I certainly hope so because a lot of good people I know who have died have come from many different backgrounds and have displayed the virtues that are essential to all religions. In fact, I doubt that the name of the church you attended is going to be one of the questions asked of you when you stand at heaven's gate waiting to be judged.

More School News

This has been an up and down week so far. I took my COMPASS test(entrance exam) Monday, and that went well. They set up an appointment for me then to come in today to schedule classes. So guess what. Yesterday my car, which hasn't had any major problems in the ten years I've had it, decided to break down. Of course my wife had to work today, so I wouldn't be able to take hers. So, I had to work on it this morning and got it so I could at least drive it, even though it acts like the transmission is going to drop out of it at any minute. I made it to my appointment and met the guy who scheduled my classes, and is also teaching my business class. He was really an upbeat, friendly guy and I felt at ease as soon as I walked in. The first thing he did was pull the result of my COMPASS test then turn to me and let out an excited war hoop. Apparently a lot of the newcomers fail part of their test, which means they have to take remedial classes first, and those don't count toward their degree. He said it made it so much easier to schedule since I'd passed them all. Truth be told, I'd guessed on most of the math questions on that test and was surprised I'd passed that part of it. Anyway, he was really cool and I'm looking forward to his class, and to school in general. I never thought I'd see the day I looked forward to going to school. I'm excited.
Sorry I've been so repetitive in my last few writings, with all the school talk and so on. This is a big change for me and mostly I'm writing about it so I can look back and remember my feelings at this time. I know anyone reading this could care less, so this is for me. I'll get back to posting more of my usual mindless gibberish soon enough.

Walking Away

Friday was my last day at work, and it was kind of depressing but at the same time just a little bit exciting as I said goodbye to people I've worked with for years, knowing that some I would never see again. Funny, the feeling of closeness that I had never realized was so strong with some of them came out with those goodbyes, and I know that I'll miss the special bonds that grew over the thirteen years I worked there.

After I clocked out for the last time I was hit by the thought that I was now out of a job, and that was a worrisome thought. Am I really doing the right thing? What if I hate school, or do poorly? I'm a very good worker and I could probably get another job doing what I've been doing for most of my adult life, but I'm going to college to try to find something else I like and better myself, so hopefully I won't have to go back to the same type of job. I'll have to work hard, but I'm ready to give it a try. Entering a class where I'll probably be the oldest student there, I only hope I'm not mistaken for a cadaver from the medical building. I must remember to look as alive as I can.

The First Step

I finally prodded myself until I took that first, terrifying step into the next phase of my life. I turned in my two weeks notice at work and filled out an application for college. Its going to be a very new experience for me, and I don't know how it'll go yet since I'm, by nature, not good at handling changes. This is a change that's been needing to take place for along time now. Not neccessarily starting school, but getting out of the rut I've been in for so long. I have a hermit-like existance in which I barely get out, and hardly see any of the world around me. Hopefully that will change, and maybe it will help with my panic issues too. I've been at my job for thirteen years and I was so tense when I went to turn in my notice that I drove around the block a couple of times trying to talk myself into going through with it. The second I handed it over I felt an immense relief and I knew I'd done the right thing.
Now to take the next step.